I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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