i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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