She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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