Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
