I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
