I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
