Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize