"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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