he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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