i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
