we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
