You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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