bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
two words: eviction party
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
