i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
