Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
