I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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