I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
