I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
