He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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