Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Couch. On fire.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize