Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
