This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
