Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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