i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
