what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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