got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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