I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
