wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
