38 yer olds are good kisserssss
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
