Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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