Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
