I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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