after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
