It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Boobs speak an international language.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
