I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
