I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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