I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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