I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize