Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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