I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
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