Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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