I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
