So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize