remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
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