Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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