I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
