VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
