meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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