Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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