Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
