No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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