who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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