I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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