Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
