I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
