i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
