Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
