you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
