You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
