I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
