i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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