So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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