you guys were way drunker than both of me
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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